Problem i en kärleksrelation när man är ung / Att inte våga visa kärlek

Source: Sjukvårdsrådgivningen
Part 2

Nödvändigt med respekt
Ett ganska vanligt problem i kärleksrelationer är att den ena inte visar sin kärlek öppet inför andra människor, utan bara visar sina känslor när man är ensamma. Partnern kan då känna sig bortvald, och det kan kännas både obehagligt och respektlöst. Respekt är en av de få saker som man faktiskt kan kräva i en relation. Om man känner att ens partner inte visar en respekt när man är tillsammans med andra, ska man tydligt säga ifrån. Man kan fråga vad en relation betyder för henne eller honom, och beskriva sin upplevelse av att vissa gånger känna sig uppskattad och andra gånger känna sig osynlig. Den andra kanske är omedveten om att det uppfattas som obehagligt eller att hon eller han beter sig så här.

Om man är homosexuell kan det här problemet vara svårare att lösa eftersom det finns fördomar i samhället mot homosexuella. Det kan göra att man kanske förväntar sig extra mycket respekt och bekräftelse från sin partner samtidigt som det också kan vara extra svårt för partnern att visa kärleken offentligt. Om den ena inte vågar visa sin kärlek för andra kan det kännas väldigt kränkande. Att prata med varandra om hur man känner brukar vara den bästa vägen till att komma överens, förstå och respektera varandra. Ibland får man också ge saker tid att mogna och växa fram.

Att inte låtsas om sin partner när man är ute bland kompisar kan vara ett sätt att känna makt eller oberoende, som en del mår bra av att känna. Om man blir utsatt för det kan man kräva respekt genom att säga att man inte accepterar beteendet. Då kanske ens partner ändrar sitt sätt att vara. Om han eller hon inte gör det, är det viktigt att man åtminstone försöker visa sig själv respekt genom att försöka få till stånd en förändring i relationen eller, om inget annat fungerar, kanske avsluta förhållandet.

Problem i en kärleksrelation när man är ung / Att vilja ses olika ofta

Source: Sjukvårdsrådgivningen
Part 2

Viktigt med både trygghet och frihet

Människor har olika stora behov av frihet och trygghet. För vissa betyder närhet och trygghet nästan allt och man är beredd att göra väldigt mycket för att få uppleva det i en nära relation. Om man är ung och känner sig osäker kan en trygg relation kännas som det bästa som kan hända, och det kan det också vara. Tryggheten i en relation kan ge möjlighet att utvecklas vidare och man kan klara av många andra svåra saker i livet om man har en bra nära relation.

Å andra sidan finns det många som känner sig ganska trygga i sig själva och har ett stort behov av frihet, eller som är rädda för att komma en annan människa riktigt nära. Då kan en relation där partnern vill att man ska dela allt bli problematisk.

Alla har olika behov av närhet
När det gäller olika behov i en relation kan man inte säga att det ena är rätt och det andra är fel. Alla är olika och behöver olika saker för att må bra, och i en relation har man ansvar både för sig själv och för den andre. Som ung har man ofta tränat sig mest i att ta hand om sig själv och därför kan det bli svårt när man i en relation plötsligt måste tänka på både sina egna och den andras behov. För att en relation ska fungera bra måste man prata med varandra för att komma fram till vad man vill ha ut av relationen och vad man kan ge till varandra.

Om man känner att man själv alltid vill vara nära och att det inte är lika viktigt för den andra, hamnar man lätt i en känsla av underläge. Man kan tro att man själv är den som älskar mest, och att man inte är värd lika mycket kärlek tillbaka. Men ens pojk- eller flickväns behov av att umgås med andra behöver inte betyda att de inte älskar en.

Prata om saken tillsammans

Ett råd för att lösa situationen är att den som vill umgås mest som par funderar över vad som ligger bakom behovet av att alltid vara nära. Den andra bör fundera över vad det betyder för henne eller honom att också ha andra kompisar. Man bör försöka förklara och beskriva sina egna behov så noga som möjligt, och lyssna noga på vad den andre har att berätta. Om man berättar för sin partner att man till exempel känner sig ledsen eller rädd när man är ensam kanske det är lättare för henne eller honom att förstå varför man alltid vill vara nära.

Man kan sen diskutera vad man kan ge varandra. Den som har ett stort behov av att träffas kanske kan försöka träffa sina egna kompisar när den andra har annat för sig? Den som ofta vill träffa andra kanske kan avstå från en utekväll ibland för att bara vara tillsammans med den andre? Om man ska hitta en kompromiss är det viktigt att man försöka sätt ord på det man känner. Ingen kan läsa ens tankar. Om man båda två är överens om att fortsätta vara tillsammans men inte kan lösa problemen på egen hand, kan man ta kontakt med till exempel en ungdomsmottagning för att få råd.


Problem i en kärleksrelation när man är ung / Svartsjuka

Source: Sjukvårdsrådgivningen
Part 1

En känsla som måste få finnas

Svartsjuka kan bero på flera olika saker. Oftast gör det inte så mycket om man bara är lite svartsjuk, det kan helt enkelt vara ett uttryck för att man är rädd för att förlora den man tycker om. Ibland kan det vara bra att berätta för sin tjej eller kille att man känner sig lite svartsjuk. Det kan göra att man kommer varandra närmare och den andre kan bli glad att få veta att han eller hon är så viktig för en. Men alla är olika, för vissa kan det tvärtom kännas jobbigt att den de är tillsammans med behöver en så mycket.

När svartsjukan blir ett problem

Tyvärr kan svartsjuka många gånger leda till att ens partner känner sig fångad och kvävd. Då är det viktigt att man pratar med varandra och försöka komma på orsakerna till svartsjukan. Är det kanske så att det finns en anledning som man inte kan bortse ifrån? Den man är kär i kanske inte är riktigt säker på vad han eller hon vill med relationen och därför till exempel flörtar med andra. När man är ung är det naturligt att man vill testa sig fram, och det kan vara svårt att vara helt säker på sina känslor. Man kanske också vill veta hur attraktiv man är och därför flörtar med andra, vilket kan vara väldigt sårande för den man är ihop med.

Man kan aldrig kräva att någon ska älska en. Om ens partner är osäker på sina känslor så måste hon eller han själv få komma fram till ett beslut. Däremot kan man i en relation alltid kräva att bli respekterad av den andre och man ska också alltid respektera sig själv. Eftersom man är två i en relation måste båda vara beredda att fundera över sin egen del i problemen för att kunna reda ut dem.

Om man känner att det är alltför smärtsamt att vara ihop med någon som inte verkar vilja satsa lika mycket på relationen som man själv, kanske man måste fundera på om man ska göra slut.

Kontrollbehov och rädsla kan ligga bakom

Det förekommer också svartsjuka som är ogrundad, det vill säga inte har någon egentlig orsak. Den typen av svartsjuka kan vara mycket problematisk och visar sig ofta som misstänksamhet och kontrollbehov.

Om man tycker att ens egen svartsjuka är ett problem har man goda chanser att kunna påverka den så att den minskar. En av orsakerna till ogrundad svartsjuka kan vara låg självkänsla, att man har svårt att tro att man duger som man är. Behovet att ha någon sorts kontroll över partnern kan då dyka upp. En annan orsak kan vara att man har svårt för att känna förtroende för andra människor. Om man har svårt att lita på någon får man lätt ett behov av att kontrollera den andre. Är svartsjukan väldigt stark kan det vara bra att prata med någon utomstående, till exempel en kurator eller psykolog på en ungdomsmottagning eller vårdcentral, för att få hjälp.

Svartsjuka som leder till våld

Den allvarligaste formen av svartsjuka upplevs ofta bara som ett problem av den som utsätts för den, och inte av den som är svartsjuk. Den som är svartsjuk har då ett mycket stort kontrollbehov och börjar ofta förolämpa och hota sin partner. Den här typen av svartsjuka kan i många fall leda till våld.

Grunden för den här typen av svartsjuka är inte vanliga relationsproblem, och handlar heller inte om att man visar sin kärlek. Det handlar snarare om att skaffa sig makt och om ett behov av att kontrollera andra. Det är vanligare att det är män som känner den här typen av svartsjuka och att de låter den gå ut över kvinnor.

När den ena parten hotas eller misshandlas av den andra på grund av svartsjuka, är det ofta för sent att rädda förhållandet. Tyvärr är det enda sättet att undvika att bli utsatt för mer våld oftast att lämna den man är ihop med. Oavsett vilket kön man själv och den man är ihop med har, bör man omedelbart försöka ta sig ur relationen om man blir misshandlad. Om man är den som misshandlar ska man försöka få hjälp för att kunna ändra sitt beteende. Kvinnor som blir misshandlade kan vända sig till en kvinnojour eller en kvinnomottagning. Män kan kontakta kriscentrum för män om de befinner sig i en relation som innehåller våld. Oavsett vilket kön man tillhör kan man vända sig till sin vårdcentral, en ungdomsmottagning eller socialtjänsten.

I kapitlet Fördjupning och länkar finns information om tjej- och kvinnojourer och kriscentrum för män, dit man kan vända sig om man behöver stöd.

INTJ - David Keirsey

Source:

Profile by David Keirsey


INTJs are the most self-confident of all types, having "self-power" awareness. Found in about 1 percent of the general population, the INTJs live in an introspective reality, focusing on possibilities, using thinking in the form of empirical logic, and preferring that events and people serve some positive use. Decisions come naturally to INTJs' once a decision is made, INTJs are at rest. INTJs look to the future rather than the past, and a word which captures the essence of INTJs is builder-a builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models.


To INTJs authority based on position, rank, title, or publication has absolutely no force. This type is not likely to succumb to the magic of slogans, watchwords, or shibboleths. If an idea or position makes sense to an INTJ, it will be adopted, if it doesn't, it won't, regardless of who took the position or generated the idea. As with the INTP, authority per se does not impress the INTJ.


INTJs do, however, tend to conform to rules if they are useful, not because they believe in them, or because they make sense, but because of their unique view of reality. They are the supreme pragmatists, who see reality as something which is quite arbitrary and made up. Thus it can be used as a tool-or ignored. Reality is quite malleable and can be changed, conquered, or brought to heel. Reality is a crucible for the refining of ideas, and in this sense, INTJs are the most theoretical of all the types. Where an ESTP sees ideas as the pawn of reality, an INTJ sees reality as the pawn of ideas: No idea is too far-fetched to be entertained. INTJs are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them.


INTJs manipulate the world of theory as if on a gigantic chess board, always seeking strategies and tactics that have high payoff. In their penchant for logic, the INTJs resemble the INTPs. The logic of an INTJ, however, is not confined to the expressible logical. Unlike INTPs, INTJs need only to have a vague, intuitive impression of the unexpressed logic of a system to continue surely on their way. Things need only seem logical; this is entirely sufficient. Moreover, they always have a keen eye for the consequence of the application of new ideas or positions. They can be quite ruthless in the implementation of systems, seldom counting personal cost in terms of time and energy. Theories which cannot be made to work are quickly discarded by the INTJs.


To understand INTJs, their way of dealing with ideas should be observed closely. Their conscious thought is extraverted and empirical. Hence, they are better at generalizing, classifying, summarizing, adducing evidence, proving, and demonstrating than are the INTPs. The INTJs are somewhat less at home with pure reason, that is, systemic logic, where principles are explicit. In this respect they resemble the ENTJs. The INTJs, rather than using deductive logic, use their intuition to grasp coherence.


Career


INTJs can be very single-minded at times; this can be either a weakness or a strength in their careers, for they can ignore the points of view and wishes of others. INTJs usually rise to positions of responsibility, for they work long and hard and are steady in their pursuit of goals, sparing neither time nor effort on their part or that of their colleagues and employees.


INTJs live to see systems translated into substance; an INTP, by way of contrast, is content to design the system. In both these types, however, coherence is the master. Both internal and external consistency are important, and if an INTJ finds that he or she is in a working situation where overlapping functions, duplication of effort, inefficient paper flow, and waste of human and material resources abound, the INTJ cannot rest until an effort is made to correct the situation. Cost-effectiveness is a concept which has a strong imperative for INTJs, who frequently select occupations in engineering, particularly human engineering. They also can be found in the physical sciences, in roles which require development, such as curriculum building, and, in general, any job which requires the creation and application of technology to complex areas.


Fellow workers of INTJs often feel as if the INTJ can see right through them, and often believe that the INTJ finds them wanting. This tendency of people to feel transparent in the presence of the INTJ often result in relationships which have psychological distance. Thus colleagues find the INTJ apparently unemotional and, at times, cold and dispassionate. Because of their tendency to drive others as hard as they do themselves, INTJs often seem demanding and difficult to satisfy. INTJs are high achievers in school and on the job. On the job, they take the goals of an institution seriously and continually strive to respond to these goals. They make dedicated, loyal employees whose loyalties are directed toward the system, rather than toward individuals within the system. So as the people of an institution come and go, the INTJs have little difficulty-unlike the NFs, who have their loyalties involved more with persons than offices. INTJs tend, ordinarily, to verbalize the positive and eschew comments of a negative nature; they are more interested in moving an institution forward than commiserating about mistakes of the past.


Home


As mates, INTJs want harmony and order in the home and in relationships. They are the most independent of all types. They will trust their intuitions about others when making choices of friends and mates, even in the face of contradictory evidence and pressures applied by others. The emotions of an INTJ are hard to read, and neither male nor female INTJ is apt to express emotional reactions. At times, both will seem cold, reserved, and unresponsive, while in fact INTJs are almost hypersensitive to signals of rejection from those for whom they care. In social situations, INTJs may also be unresponsive and may neglect to observe small rituals designed to put others at their ease. For example, INTJs may communicate that time is wasted if used for idle dialogue, and thus people receive a sense of hurry from an INTJ which is not always intended. In their interpersonal relationships, INTJs are usually better in a working situation than in recreational situations. They do not enjoy physical contact except with a chosen few.


As parents, INTJs are dedicated and single minded in their devotion: Their children are a major focus in life. They are supportive of their children and tend to allow them to develop in directions of their own choosing. INTJs usually are firm and consistent in their discipline and rarely care to repeat directions given to children...or others. Being the most independent of all the types, they have a strong need for autonomy; indifference or criticism from people in general does not particularly bother INTJs, if they believe that they are right. They also have a strong need for privacy.


The most important preference of an INTJ is intuition, but this is seldom seen. Rather, the function of thinking is used to deal with the world and with people. INTJs are vulnerable in the emotional area and may make serious mistakes here.


Midlife


At midlife the feeling side of personality should be given much attention by the INTJ, who can work at expanding his or her abilities to respond to wishes and feelings of others. They may also do well to turn more attention to the sensory side of their natures, attempting to get in touch with the joys of good food, good beverages, social rituals, kinesthetic experiences...and play. The "wasting" of time in play is an appropriate target as a midlife task for INTJs who can take lessons from an SP, especially an ESP, in the art of enjoying the pleasures of life.


Mates


Wishing to control nature, the INTJ "scientist" probably has more difficulty than all other types in making up his or her mind in mate selection. Even mate selection must be done in a scientific way. It may well be that the narratives, plays, and films impugning the "rational and objective" approach to mating have as their target our thorough-going scientist INTJ. Nevertheless, when young, the INTJ is attracted to the free-wheeling, spontaneous, fun-loving "entertainer" ESFP. But the INTJ requires that mating meet certain criteria, else it is not undertaken. So the INTJ doesn't often go through with what is begun by natural attraction. Since he or she proceeds in a rational and methodical way, the selection of a similar temperament is more likely than selection of opposite, following the assumption that those who are similar ought to do well together. The INTJ "scientist" is also attracted to the ENFP "journalist," probably because of the enthusiastic, effervescent, and apparently spontaneous enjoyment and wonderment this type exudes-the very antitheses of the careful, thoughtful exactitude of the INTJ.


Groups

Yahoo INFP Groups
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INFP - David Keirsey

Source:

Profile by David Keirsey


INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world and are seen as reticent and even shy. Although they demonstrate a cool reserve toward others, inside they are anything but distant. They have a capacity for caring which is not always found in other types. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a cause. One word that captures this type is idealistic. At times, this characteristic leaves them feeling isolated, especially since INFPs are found in only 1 percent of the general population. INFPs have a profound sense of honor derived from internal values. The INFP is the Prince or Princess of mythology, the King's Champion, Defender of the Faith, and guardian of the castle. Sir Galahad and Joan of Arc are male and female prototypes of an INFP. To understand INFPs their cause must be understood, for they are willing to make unusual sacrifices for someone or something believed in.


INFPs seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect. They often have a subtle tragic motif running through their lives, but others seldom detect this inner minor key. The deep commitment of INFPs to the positive and the good causes them to be alert to the negative and the evil, which can take the form of a fascination with the profane. Thus INFPs may live a paradox, drawn toward purity and unity but looking over the shoulder toward the sullied and desecrated. When INFPs believe that they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. The atonement, however, is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make public the issue.


INFPs prefer the valuing process over the purely logical. They respond to the beautiful versus the ugly, the good versus the bad, and the moral versus the immoral. Impressions are gained in a fluid, global, diffused way. Metaphors and similes come naturally but may be strained. INFPs have a gift for interpreting symbols, as well as creating them, and thus often write in lyric fashion. They may demonstrate a tendency to take deliberate liberties with logic. Unlike the NT, they see logic as something optional. INFPs also may, at times, assume an unwarranted familiarity with a domain, because their global, impressionistic way of dealing with reality may have failed to register a sufficient number of details for mastery. INFPs may have difficulty thinking in terms of a conditional framework; they see things as either real or fancied, and are impatient with the hypothetical.


Career


At work, INFPs are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are well aware of people and their feelings, and relate well to most, albeit with some psychological distance. INFPs dislike telephone interruptions and work well alone, as well as with others. They are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. They can make errors of fact, but seldom of values. Their career choices may be toward the ministry, missionary work, college teaching, psychiatry, architecture, psychology-and away from business. They seem willing and usually are able to apply themselves scholastically to gain the necessary training for professional work, often doing better in college than in high school. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, as do the other NF's, a remarkable facility for languages. Often they hear a calling to go forth into the world to help others; they seem willing to make the necessary personal sacrifices involved in responding to that call, even if it means asking others to do likewise. INFPs can make outstanding novelists and character actors, for they are able to efface their own personalities in their portrayal of a character in a way other types cannot.


Home


As mates, INFPs have a deep commitment to their pledges. They like to live in harmony and may go to great lengths to avoid constant conflict. They are sensitive to the feelings of others and enjoy pleasing those they care for. They may find it difficult to reconcile a romantic, idealized concept of conjugal life with the realities of everyday living with another person. At times, in fact, INFPs may seem fearful of exuberant attainment, afraid that current advances may have to be paid for with later sacrifices. The devil is sure to get his due if the INFP experiences too freely of success, or beauty, or health, or wealth, or knowledge. And thus, INFPs guard against giving way to relaxing in the happiness of mating. They may have difficulty in expressing affection directly, but communicate interest and affection indirectly.


For INFPs, their home is their castle. As parents, they are fierce in protection of home and family and are devoted to the welfare of family members. They have a strong capacity for devotion, sympathy, and adaptability in their relationships, and thus are easy to live with. They are loyal to their family and, although they may dream of greener pastures, if they stray into those pastures they soon locate the nettles. The almost preconscious conviction that pleasure must be paid for with pain can cause a sense of uneasiness in the family system of an INFP, who may transmit an air of being ever-vigilant against invasion. In the routine rituals of daily living, INFPs tend to be compliant and may even prefer having decisions made on their behalf, until their value system is violated! Then INFPs dig in their heels and will not budge from ideals. Life with an INFP will go gently along for long periods, until an ideal is struck and violated. Then an INFP will resist and insist.


Midlife


At midlife INFPs may want to increase mastery of intellectual interests, perhaps taking advanced degrees in a chosen profession. They also may want to explore the sensual side of their natures, expanding their aesthetic appreciations to include physical sensory appreciations. Extending social activities and contacts may offer new horizons for INFPs, but they will have to guard against overextension psychologically, for before, during, and after midlife the vulnerability and sensitivity of the INFP will continue, and he or she can easily become emotionally drained.


Mates


The INFP questor probably has more problems in mating than any other type. Let us be mindful of the relative infrequency: about 1 1/4 percent, say two and a half million people in the USA. Their problem lies in their primary outlook on life. "Life," says the INFP, "is a very serious matter." Now when a person makes his life a kind of crusade or a series of crusades, then there's bound to be some taxing of the spouse. If the INFP takes the other tack, the "monastic" (and the same person can tack back and forth-now a crusader, now a monastic), the spouse will find himself again taxed, trying to draw the monastic out of his dark meditative cave.


The opposites of our crusading monastic seem well equipped for this alternating-phase taxation: ENTJ and ESTJ. Both are anchored in the real world with a vengeance. The ENTJ marshaling his or her forces toward distant objectives, the ESTJ administrating in a solid, dependable, and traditional way whatever is his or hers to administer. Both provide anchorage to a person who might otherwise get lost in meditation or in crusade. Selection of a mate of irrelevant form (e.g., an ISTP artisan or an ESTP promoter) would not be the wisest of tactics in so serious a business as life.


INFJ - David Keirsey

Source:

Profile by David Keirsey


INFJs focus on possibilities, think in terms of values and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (1 percent) is regrettable, since INFJs have unusually strong drive to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their fellow men. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.


It is an INFJ who is likely to have visions of human events past, present, or future. If a person demonstrates an ability to understand psychic phenomena better than most others, this person is apt to be an INFJ. Characteristically, INFJs have strong empathic abilities and can be aware of another's emotions or intents even before that person is conscious of these. This can take the form of feeling the distress of illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types. INFJs can intuit good and evil in others, although they seldom can tell how they came to know. Subsequent events tend to bear them out, however.


INFJs are usually good students, achievers who exhibit an unostentacious creativity. They take their work seriously and enjoy academic activity. They can exhibit qualities of over-perfectionism and put more into a task than perhaps is justified by the nature of the task. They generally will not be visible leaders, but will quietly exert influence behind the scenes.
 

INFJs are hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. Because of their vulnerability through a strong facility to introject, INFJs can be hurt rather easily by others, which, perhaps, is at least one reason they tend to be private people. People who have known an INFJ for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that INFJs are inconsistent; they are very consistent and value integrity. But they have convoluted, complex personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.


INFJs like to please others and tend to contribute their own best efforts in all situations. They prefer and enjoy agreeing with others, and find conflict disagreeable and destructive. What is known as ESP is likely found in an INFJ more than in any other types, although other types are capable of such phenomena. INFJs have vivid imaginations exercised both as memory and intuition, and this can amount to genius, resulting at times in an INFJ's being seen as mystical. This unfettered imagination often will enable this person to compose complex and often aesthetic works of art such as music, mathematical systems, poems, plays, and novels. In a sense, the INFJ is the most poetic of all the types. Just as the ENTJ cannot not lead, so must an INFJ intuit; this capability extends to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come. INFJs can have uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.


Career


INFJs often select liberal arts as a college major and opt for occupations which involve interacting with people, but on a one-to-one basis. For example, the general practitioner in medicine might be an INFJ, or the psychiatrist or psychologist. As with all NF's, the ministry holds attraction, although the INFJ must develop an extraverted role here which requires a great deal of energy. INFJs may be attracted to writing as a profession, and often they use language which contains an unusual degree of imagery. They are masters of the metaphor, and both their verbal and written communications tend to be elegant and complex. Their great talent for language usually is directed toward people, describing people and writing to communicate with people in a personalized way. INFJs who write comment often that they write with a particular person in mind; writing to a faceless, abstract audience leaves them uninspired.


INFJs make outstanding individual therapists who have the ability to get in touch with the archetypes of their patients in a way some other types do not. The INFJs are also the most vulnerable of all the types to the eruption of their own archetypal material. As therapists, INFJs may choose counseling, clinical psychology, or psychiatry, or may choose to teach in these fields. Writing about these professions often intrigues an INFJ. Whatever their choice, they generally are successful in these fields because their great personal warmth, their enthusiasm, their insight, their depth of concentrations, their originality, and their organizational skills can all be brought into play.


At work as well as socially, INFJs are highly sensitive in their handling of others and tend to work well in an organizational structure. They have a capacity for working at jobs which require solitude and concentration, but also do well when in contact with people, providing the human interaction is not superficial. INFJs enjoy problem-solving and can understand and use human systems creatively and humanistically. As employees or employers, INFJs are concerned with people's feelings and are able to provide in themselves a barometer of the feelings of individuals and groups within the organizations. INFJs listen well and are willing and able to consult and cooperate with others. Once a decision is made, they work to implement it.


INFJs are generally good at public relations and themselves have good interpersonal relations. They value staff harmony and want an organization to run smoothly and pleasantly, themselves making every effort to contribute to that end. They are crushed by too much criticism and can have their feelings hurt rather easily. They respond to praise and use approval as a means of motivating others, just as they, the INFJs, are motivated by approval. If they are subject to a hostile, unfriendly working condition or to constant criticism, they tend to lose confidence, become unhappy and immobilized, and finally become physically ill.


Home


As mates, INFJs are usually devoted to their spouses, but may not always be open to physical approaches. They tend to be physically demonstrative at times, but wish to choose when, which is when they are in the mood. This maybe quite confusing to an extraverted mate. Often an INFJ's expressions of affection will be subtle, taking a humorous, unexpected turn. INFJs need and want harmony in their homes and find constant conflict, overt or covert, extremely destructive to their psyches. Their friendship circle is likely to be small, deep, and longstanding. As parents, INFJs usually are fiercely devoted. A female INFJ, particularly, is linked to her children in a way different from the other types: with almost a psychic symbiosis. This deep bond can create an over-dependency that can be unhealthy for both mother and child. At the same time, INFJs tend to be good friends with their children, while firm in discipline. They usually are concerned about the comfort of a home and most especially the comfort, physical health, and emotional well-being of both mates and children.


Midlife


At midlife an INFJ can best continue developing the thinking function in the form of logic and the pursuit of theory. The pleasure of taking a theoretical model and applying it to a situation may be a source of interest which an INFJ may have been neglecting. While continuing to pursue the person-to-person in feeling-type relationships, at midlife INFJs may want to get more involved in working with NT's, who offer a dimension not dominant in NF's and vice versa. Carefully providing for rest and taking care of physical health is vital to the INFJ at all times, and mandatory from midlife on.


Mates


The oracular INFJ may opt for the inventive ENTP, but also may go for a different kind of contrary, namely the ESTP. The ESTP and ENTP, to the casual observer, look pretty much alike. Charming, suave, urbane, humorous, witty, fantastically easy to approach, venturesome, even reckless. But one is out to invent, the other to promote; this is no small difference. It takes an inventor to make a mousetrap, it takes a promoter to make an enterprise. To succeed, the promoter has to be, in the best sense of the word, a con artist. He must be able to get people's confidence. Now why would a meaning-giver INFJ be intrigued by an entrepreneur ESTP? Because he wants to help the entrepreneur find his soul and his significance in the scheme of things. Similarly, why is the INFJ attracted to ENTP? Because he wishes to rescue this iconoclast from his seeming folly (and let's face it, most inventions are abortive, or still-born).


ESFP - David Keirsey

Source:

Profile by David Keirsey


ESFPs radiate attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever, voluble, and open to the environment-this describes ESFPs who, like ESTPs, represent about 13 percent of the population. They are great fun to be with and are the most generous of all the types. Performer would be the word which best describes an ESFP.


ESFPs will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. ESFPs easily find company, for others are usually highly entertained by the presence of an ESFP. ESFPs love excitement and create it wherever they are. Their joy of living is contagious and generally they wear happy faces. Often outstanding conversationalists, their flowing banter is amusing in its wit. ESFPs have an air of sophistication and are likely to be dressed in the latest fashion, displaying an enjoyment of all good things of life: dress, food, physical comfort, and happy times. ESFPs create a mood of "eat, drink, and be marry" wherever they go, and around them life can have a continual party-like atmosphere of gaiety.


Career


ESFPs prefer active jobs and should not be given lonely, solitary assignments. Outstanding in public relations, they love working with people. Decisions are made with personal warmth, based on personal reference or reference to significant others. This type relies heavily on their personal experiences and generally show good common sense.


The gregarious sociability and adaptability of ESFPs make them a source of warmth to others. They do not mind telephone or personal interruptions and are verbally facile in both situations. They can be counted on to have accurate data about the people around them, gaining these data through effortless and continuous observations.


ESFPs are not deeply interested in scholastic pursuits, wanting knowledge only for immediate utility. They avoid science and engineering, gravitate toward business, and are adept at selling, particularly selling tangibles. They can be effective in education, especially elementary school teaching, and can enjoy nursing for its drama. They are good at working with people in crisis, a facility which often leads ESFPs into social work. They also enjoy entertaining people and are thus drawn to the performing arts, thriving on the excitement of being in the limelight.


Home


ESFPs make exciting, if somewhat unpredictable mates, which may give quieter type mates some anxiety and tension from living on the edge of adventure. The home of an ESFP is likely to be filled with people all having a good time. Problems will not be allowed to make their appearance. The ESFP accomplishes this by taking an attitude of "walking by the graveyard whistling," refusing to recognize doom and gloom.


ESFPs can be generous to a fault. What is theirs is yours, and what is yours is yours still. They give assistance to one and all without expectation of a return, just as they love freely without expecting something in return. ESFPs seem to view life as an eternal cornucopia from which flows an endless supply of pleasures that require no effort on their part to insure.


ESFPs' talent for enjoying life can make them more subject to temptations than are other types. They are inclined to be impulsive, and thus both male and female ESFPs are vulnerable to psychological seduction, if not physical seduction, with an ESFP giving in easily and agreeably to the demands of others. As a parent, the ESFP will be entertaining, a friend, and a source of fun and excitement. When there is sickness, or trouble, however, ESFPs may become impatient and may want to absent themselves.


ESFPs' tolerance for anxiety is the lowest of all the types. Anxiety is avoided by ignoring the dark side of a situation as long as possible. They are inclined to be somewhat self-indulgent, but, rather than make an outward show of resistance or make waves, ESFPs will give apparent compliance-and then go their own way to what they enjoy.


Midlife


At midlife ESFPs might want to look to building deeper commitments to fewer people and begin setting stable, long-term goals. ESFPs may, by midlife, begin to feel that they are used as a source of fun to others, but are not cared for themselves. This can build resentments. They may want to work at building one or two deep relationships where they are able to show their fears, their sadness, and their anxieties about the future-and still find that they are accepted and loved. They may want to increase their enjoyment of solitude and their repertoire of solitary activities. Extending their reading in "serious" literature or technical works might be one way of doing this.


Mates


There is an affinity of the INTJ "scientist" for the ESFP exciting entertainer. This type of mating, however, is so infrequent as to be a mere academic interest (the INTJ is a mere 1 percent of the population and, furthermore, rarely comes in contact with ESFP). More frequently the ESFP is drawn to the ISTJ "trustor." Here is the entertaining ESFP, bursting with energy and hankering to put on a show of some kind. More than others the ESFP yearns for the bright lights, the party, the excitement of gatherings. In a sense, the ESFP is the life of the party. How many times have novelist and screenwriter told the story of "the showgirl and the banker" or "the playboy and the owner"? The ESFP wants to liven up this Rock of Gibraltar at the same time he or she wants to be settled down by this very stable and responsible person.


ISFP - David Keirsey

Source:

Profile by David Keirsey


ISFPs are found in about 6 percent of the general population. The best name for this type is free spirit, for they have an intense need for freedom. The simple rural life, life in the wilderness, the tribal/communal life-all these may call them. Their need for social interaction, however, is not as great as that of the type they most resemble, the ESFP. So an ISFP may forgo all social ties of any duration to preserve the freedom to wander. The lyric, "I was born under a wandering star...", might capture the spirit of the ISFP in this respect. The flower children of the 1960's may have been largely ISFPs, though the ESFPs also seem attracted to communing with others.


ISFPs also resemble INFPs in needing to achieve intensity of feeling. The focus, however, with the ISFPs seems to be more on the sensuous side than the meaningful side. The ISFP is orgastic, in the sense, demanding of life that it provide the excitement and pleasure of drinking deeply at the Dionysian well. Not revelry (that is the forte of the ESFP) but experience is what attracts the ISFP to these kinds of activities. Music, like wine, is incorporated and internalized, and the introverted nature of the ISFP requires this internalization. There is a reason why the flower became the symbol for what the flower children wanted: Flowers are warm, alive, sweet, colorful, rhythmic, natural, absolute, needing no statement, no interpretation-a pure being-in-self.


ISFPs are not articulate. They communicate through action. They do not verbalize their meanings, but, for example, offer a lovely flower and a smile. Their actions speak of the pastoral and the bucolic.


Career


They do not seek philosophy or science or literature. These are too distant from life for the ISFPs. They seek, rather, the pounding surf, the river, the forest, the ship, the truck, the racing car, the horse, the potter's wheel, the hoist, the bulldozer-some kind of action where they can keep their fingers on the pulse of life.


Home


It is not that people are unimportant to the ISFP-indeed they are-but people are more the framework for the activities of the ISFP, providing a shadowy background. Perhaps this type is the least understood of all the types-and yet often the most envied. They are so fiercely independent and insistent that they live in and for the moment, in action, fully savoring the urges they feel and discharge, that others often find them difficult to comprehend or understand. Gaugin, perhaps, provides a prototype of the ISFP as he walked away from his affluent position in society, off to Tahiti to an unknown future, and without a backward glance!


Midlife


At midlife ISFPs may be subject to strong temptation to follow Gaugin's lead, to abandon their current style of life, and sacrifice home, children, and mate for the lure of the unknown bucolic life. The cost of following this impulse must, of course, be reckoned. If the ISFP has not found in work a source of pleasure which continues past midlife, he or she may want to opt for an early retirement and enter into a new career where their need to be close to nature can be satisfied.


Mates


Pursuit of two themes-closeness to nature and artistic activity-places the ISFP quite a distance from the utilitarian outlook. Yet it is precisely that outlook that seems to attract the bucolic spirit. The opposite on the N side is the ENTJ "fieldmarshal," the most militant of all types in his desire to run things. ISFP is most likely to become a pacifist or environmentalist, and yet also is likely to seek out the person who is temperamentally suited to tactical leadership, military or otherwise. ISFP is likewise attracted to the ESTJ "administrator," the person temperamentally suited to be "in charge" of establishments. Note that the person most likely to deprecate the establishment is attracted to the head of an establishment. It is rather doubtful, should an ISFP actually marry an ENTJ or ESTJ, that there is any intent or desire to change the spouse into a pastoral. Of all types, ISFP is most likely to "let be" whoever or whatever. It seems more likely that the latter provides a kind of anchorage to enterprise and to civilization.


ISFP - Lifexplore

Source:
~ The Aesthete ~

Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow

ISFPs are gentle and compassionate, open and flexible. They are considerate of others and do not force their views and opinions on them. They often focus on meeting others' needs, especially those who are less fortunate. Having a quite, modest, self-effacing style, ISFPs avoid disagreements and seek harmony with people as well as with nature. They enjoy life's precious moments and often add a touch of beauty to the environments where they spend their time. They are at their best ensuing others' well-being.

Living

ISFP children are pleasant, quiet, and kind. Their talents may be easy to overlook because they shun the spotlight and do not have a strong need to demonstrate their strengths to others. They may be particularly drawn to people, animals, and plants who need the gentle care that ISFPs provide.


ISFP children generally relate well with others and tend to have friends because they are easy to like. They are interested in others's feelings and notice particularly when disharmony exists. It is quite difficult for ISFPs to see their friends in conflict with one another. When this occurs, they will try to help ease the disagreements by playing the role of peacemaker.


ISFP children notice and attend to the delights of the senses. Often they will make special gifts for people whom they particularly like. These gifts are usually unique and original, with much attention paid to color, line, texture, and form. They are often very conscious of the internal sensations in their bodies. They tend to be aware of what their body will and will not do.


As teenagers, ISFPs may blend into the woodwork because they are quiet and unassuming. They are oriented toward deeply felt personal values, and they may find themselves on the outside of social groups if the groups do not share the same values.


In adult life, ISFPs work quietly, often behind the scenes, helping individuals meet their goals and dreams. They like a life of action and interaction, and often choose careers that allow them to exercise their ability to see the needs of the moment and respond quickly. They have little desire to impress others or to impose their will. However, they can be gently and persistently persuasive if they believe some action is in another's best interest.


ISFPs enjoy their friends and their families, and spend time nurturing their relationships. They bring an air of spontaneity and easy acceptance to all they meet and are rarely quickly judgmental. Only when people do something grossly out of line will the anger of ISFPs surface. They will then stand firmly against the infraction to support the victim.

Learning and working


ISFPs learn best through hands-on experience. They may not be as interested in traditional academic subjects as some other types. They prefer application and practicality rather than studying the theoretical and only potentially useful. Making drawings, constructing miniature models, or using other direct representations to master the subject matter are appealing activities for them. They dislike structure and institutional settings that take away their spontaneity and freedom. They want their learning to be relevant to what is going on in their world. They have less patience with conceptual and abstract learning.


ISFPs enjoy learning subjects that relate to helping and knowing about people. They may be easily overlooked in the classroom unless the teacher has recognized their special ways of learning and their unique contributions. Encouragement helps draw out ISFPs.


At work, ISFPs contribute by attending to the practical facts relating to the needs of people and all living things in their environments. They can infuse a particular knod of joy into cooperative nature. Because they pay attention to the humanistic aspects of the organization, they act in ways that ensure others' well-being. People enjoy ISFPs because they bring understanding yet adaptability to the realities of their work.


ISFPs enjoy occupations that allow them to be flexible and adaptable and to meet the here-and-now needs of others. They enjoy responding to the moment and choose work where they can offer practical, specific help in times of difficulty.

Some occupations are more appealing to ISFPs: Bookkeeper, carpenter, personal service worker, clerical supervisor and secretary, dental and medical staffers, food service worker, nurse, mechanic, physical therapist, X-ray technician, and other occupations that allow them to provide gentle help to all living things.


Loving

For the ISFP, love means devotion, loyalty, care, humor, and consideration for the needs and wants of the loved one. When ISFPs first fall in love, they may feel consumed by it. They may become naive and focus entirely on the romance of it - 'falling in love with love.' Future worries are cast aside in favor of the present realities. ISFPs may ignore all else in order to experience their love life most fully. Doing this can leave them vulnerable to the whims of others.


Because being loved and cared for is important to ISFPs, they make sure that relationships are nourished so that they can continue to grow. When They are in love, they find a multitude of ways to show their affection and their appreciation for the other person. Often ISFPs will go so far as to rearrange their careers, start or stop working, move geographically, or make other changes to maintain their relationships.


The friends, family members, and even pets of the ISFPs' partners become important to them as well. ISFPs take it upon themselves to make their environments places where there is the potential to have a harmonious existence for all.


In their desire to please others, some ISFPs may not be confident enough to speak up for themselves about what they need. If the relationship turns sour, the ISFP may believe that it was caused by something that they personally did. They may assume more of the blame than is necessary. When they are scorned, they may retreat and repeatedly analyse the situation internally. When they do face reality and finally let go, they can become more assertive and self-directed in the resumption of their lives.


© 2000 Lifexplore

ISTP - Lifexplore

Source:
~ The Realist ~

Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow


ISTPs are realists who apply expediency and reasoning as they manage and adapt to situations. They are aware of what is going on in the environment and are able to respond quickly to the actual facts, making sure the odds of success are in their favor. They do not like to be tied down and will feel hamstrung when they must operate within tight structures and schedules. They are able to anticipate immediate, practical needs in situations and to present a logical, straightforward plan for meeting those needs. They are at their best in situations that require immediate attention.


Living

ISTP children want life to be logical, flexible and action oriented. While they like hands-on activities, they also may want to stand aside and observe what is taking place. They are especially observant of what makes things tick and may take apart a toy to see its inner workings. They are curious and are great gatherers of data and detail. They rarely forget what they have noticed about places and things. They are aware of flaws and try to correct them. ISTP children become very absorbed in their hobbies.

ISTP teenager may have several close friends but generally are not social butterflies. They relate to others by sharing detailed information about one of their interests or sharing in physical activities that involve a measure of risk. They like sports in which they can challenge themselves and master specific techniques and strategies.

As young adults, ISTPs tend to follow a path of least resistance when thinking about their careers. They usually don't like planning ahead because they think that things don't turn out like the plan. They relax their brain while everyone else is busy using theirs to plan.

ISTPs are pragmatists and gamblers who play each hand as it is dealt. As a result, they are able to take advantage of opportunities as they arise. In adult life, ISTPs are fairly laid back and mellow. They do not impose much structure on themselves or others. Because they retain and use detail for logical ends, they are often recognized by their employers as people who do well with the careful and precise understanding of factual data.

Most ISTPs, when questioned about their careers, reveal that they would love to have more time and income to pursue their interests full-time. Because retirement may allow ISTPs to further pursue their work as well as leisure interests unhampered by time demands, it is a very desirable state for them. If their work is interesting, they may resist retirement because their work is a key element in their lives. When their work does not provide them with enough enjoyment and challenge, they may try to arrange things so that they can retire early and thus obtain more time to enjoy their leisure pursuits.

Learning


ISTPs learn best when they can observe first-hand in a one-to-one situation. They are particularly fond of subjects that have a logical basis; mastering certain rules or principles allows them to efficiently work with the subject matter. They like individual projects that require them to solve problems systematically.


ISTPs prefer to learn alone, at their own rate and in their own time frame. Because they are able to assimilate a great amount of detail in areas that interest them, they usually do well in those areas. ISTPs earn their best grades when it is necessary to accurately report facts and data. They are impatient with theorectical subjects and like their learning to be directed toward concrete and practical outcomes.


Teachers are not particularly important to ISTPs in the overall scheme, unless they can show ISTPs how to do things more easily. When the teacher obstructs or gets in the way of something ISTPs want to learn, they may ignore or go around the teacher. The formal or traditional school setting is not as important to ISTPs as is the opportunity to increase their own practical knowledge. Nontraditional programs or approaches often attract ISTPs, especially when they can learn about things that they see as vital and central to their interests.


Working


At work, ISTPs contribute their realistic and logical way of meeting situational requirements. They can see the easiest and most expedient route to completing a task, and they do not waste their effort on unnecessary things. They often act as trouble shooters, rising to meet the needs of the occasion. Since many ISTPs have a natural bent in technical areas, they may often function as 'walking encyclopedias' of technical information.


ISTPs prefer a work setting that is project oriented and unconstrained by rules. They want a chance to be active, independent problem solvers. They do not like routing but want the opportunity to be somewhat inventive in meeting current needs.


The ISTP organizing style is based on expediency and quick application of information. They often organize their hobbies or collections and make a game of finding the best way to arrange things.


ISTPs prefer flexibility and impersonal dealings with others. Because they often have a technical orientation, they prefer to work in an environment that produces a practical product. They pay attention to the organization's hierarchy only to the point of learning how to bypass or go around it if it stands in their way. ISTPs may have mastered the details of the organization but may rebel if it is too rigid.


Carpenter, construction worker, dental hygienist, electrical engineer, farmer, mechanic, military personnel, probation officer, steel worker, transportation operative, and other occupations that allow them to use their ability to act expediently are generally attractive to an ISTP.


Leading


The ISTP leadership style is one of leading through action, by setting an example. They respond quickly when trouble is at hand. They operate logically from their internal ruling principles. They give their staff the necessary information to do their jobs, allowing them to complete their work in their own fashion. They prefer to be managed loosely and with minimal supervision, and they manage others in a similar fashion.

Leisure


The opportunity to pursue their interests is very important to ISTPs. They will do what it takes to have the time and money to accommodate their leisure-time pursuits. ISTP leisure activities often have a physical and risk-taking aspect to them. ISTPs get deeply involved in their activities, adding new ones when boredom sets in, finding that one interest may lead to another. Often interests begun in childhood, such as stamp collecting, cooking, and chess, are maintained throughout their lifetimes. ISTPs retain detail accurately and often use their spare time to learn more facts.


Loving


For the ISTP, love means being responsive yet realistic. ISTPs seek partners who either are willing to allow them to have their necessary freedom or who will participate in these activities with them. They may introduce their partners to their interests if they are ones that they want to share. When this is the case, they will acquaint their loved one with all the facts and details of their interest.


When falling in love, ISTPs are very attentive to small things that might be enjoyed by their partners, surprising them with those particular gifts. They would rather show their feelings through their actions than verbalize them. They are not likely to discuss their feelings about their relationships with their partners because they believe that the experiences that they have had together will speak for their feelings. Feelings are discuss only when necessary.


When scorned, ISTPs are not likely to share hurt feelings with the external world. If the couple still has some interests in common, ISTPs may maintain the relationship with the loved one, but on a different plane. They do not give up easily on their relationships, however, unless the weight of the factual evidence convinces them to do so. When the relationship is actually over, they are usually not vindictive. They see the end of the relationship as a concrete fact about which it does little good to worry. They can therefore move on to new experiences.


© 2000 Lifexplore

ESFP - Lifexplore

Source:
~ The Joker ~

Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow


ESFPs are friendly, outgoing, fun loving and naturally drawn to people. They are quite enthusiastic and exuberant, and are usually well liked by others. They are good at meeting people and helping them enjoy themselves. They are sympathetic toward people and generous with their time and money. At their best, they are able to realistically meet human and situational needs in a fun and lively way.


Living


ESFP children are friendly, warm, active, and enthusiastic. They are very giving and concerned about others. They like to make others happy, believing that "it is better to give than to receive." Being on the receiving end may make them feel self-conscious. They tend to be good at comforting others, regardless of whether others are in need. ESFPs are aware of what is happening around them and notice much that escapes the eyes of others. They are tied into the present, particularly with people, they may sense what is happening with others before others know it. They may also noticewhat is going on in their environment and take delight in a spring flower, a bird's song, or a bright fabric, pointing these out in their enthusiastic way for others to enjoy. They are popular and gregarious, and are often busy in social activities with others. As teenagers, they are likely to be instigators of activities with their friends. It is difficult to catch them sitting still. They tend to be bright and sunny in disposition and enjoy laughing at themselves and others. It is hard for them to be "down," mainly because of the excitement of each upcoming event.


As adults, ESFPs lead what might look like "a charmed existence,' even when things are not going well for them. They live with the idea that "the glass is half full" and seem to land on their feet, even when they are not sure how. They usually find a niche for themselves in any situation because of their spontaneity and flexibility. Their social skills may attract the eye of a boss. For ESFPs bring a liveliness to a groups to which they belong. Life is meant to be enjoyed and is not taken too seriously.


ESFPs often are able to interact with all ages, backgrounds, and types of people. Most individuals who connect with ESFPs feel that they are treated as equals by them, regardless of age or convention. They enjoy sharing their love of life with others, not just their mates and children. People around them benefit from this.


In retirement, ESFPs continue their fun-filled, people-focused, actively-oriented life. They keep close friendships and continue to provide amusement to those who have been important to them in the past.

Learning


ESFPs prefer learning through participating in groups where they can interact with others and do things, not just observe or listen about things. They want to get to know their teachers well. It is not that the teachers have to be nice, but they do need to care. ESFPs dislike and are upset by intellectual arguments and conflict. They need to experience the concept first before discussing it or receiving a didactically presented theory. Directions must be very concrete, simple and accurate. They are also plugged into the environment. Atmosphere, attitudes, physical setting --- all make a difference. If the encouragement they receive for their social life is more than the encouragement they receive for their academic life, they may err on the side of being too social. Most ESFPs learn actively and do not function as well when they must read quietly by themselves about matters that are theoretical. They find themselves easily drifting off while studying, and they are ultimately diverted by things more real to them.


Working


ESFP like action and excitement, and are able to link together people and resources. Because they accept and deal with people as they are, they are able to understand what is necessary in order to motivate them to get jobs done. They prefer a work setting that is lively, action oriented, and harmonious. The atmosphere and overall attitude of the work setting means a great deal to them. They like adaptable people who are energetic, easygoing, and focused on the present realities. If something is not immediately useful or of intrinsic value, it may be quickly reflected by ESFPs. They notice what is going on with people and focus on these happenings intently. ESFPs are likely to adapt as the situation requires. ESFPs like occupations that allow them to be with people. They want to be direct and practical service to others and seek work that is self-fulfilling and rewarding. Being a resource to others is an important part of their work. Some occupations seem to be more attractive to ESFPs: childcare worker, clerical supervisor, coach, designer, factory supervisor, food service worker, receptionist, recreation worker, religious educator, respiratory therapist, and other occupations that allow them to be responsive to others.


Leading


The ESFP leadership style is one that promotes good will and team work. ESFPs are quickly adaptable and thus able to guide others in crisis situations, unless that crisis is one of disharmony among people. They are able to focus on immediate problems and using their ability to work with people. They are more relationship oriented but will work hard on the task part when the people part is going well.


Leisure


ESFPs are quick to take leisure, give it a new twist, and create new enjoyment. They love being active, whether in craft projects, exercise classes, sporting events, or going out to dinners, parties, or movies with friends. ESFP reading tastes run toward what is useful or historical accounts about what happened, which they can use to make predictions for the future. They are more likely to read short things, such as newspaper and magazine articles, than long books. Whatever the case, they like to discuss their readings with others. ESFPs are fun to be with; they find enjoyment in most situations. Being out and about is more comfortable to them than sitting still with long periods of quiet. Their friends are very important to them, and they are likely to let them know how much they care through small mementos, special poems, or cards. They regularly reach out and touch someone.


Loving


Love means enjoyment of one another. ESFPs want to share values with the loved one. They way people are treated is usually one value they care about. They may move in and out of relationships quickly when the situation feels uncomfortable. They are not likely to take man interpersonal risks since they fear rejection themselves. They are warm and become more generous and outgoing in the face of approval. They can become quite hampered by disapproval.


Even when a relationship ends, ESFPs tend to be very respectful of the former partner. They do not want to call undue attention to the breakup and thus move on rather quickly, surrounding themselves with their valued friends.


© 2000 Lifexplore

ESTP - Lifexplore

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© 2000 Lifexplore

ISFJ - Lifexplore

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© 2000 Lifexplore

ISTJ - Lifexplore

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© 2000 Lifexplore

ESFJ - Lifexplore

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© 2000 Lifexplore

ESTJ - Lifexplore

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© 2000 Lifexplore

INTP - Lifexplore

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© 2000 Lifexplore

INTJ - Lifexplore

Source:
~ The Free-Thinker ~

Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow


INTJs are strong individualists who seek new angles or novel ways of looking at things. They enjoy coming to new understandings. They are insightful and mentally quick; however, this mental quickness may not always be outwardly apparent to others since they keep a great deal to themselves. They are very determined people who trust their vision of the possibilities, regardless of what others think. They may even be considered the most independent of all of the sixteen personality types. INTJs are at their best in quietly and firmly developing their ideas, theories, and principles.


Living


The independent and individualistic INTJ manner appears early in life. As children, INTJs are often inwardly focused on their thoughts of the way the world is or ought to be; they enjoy day dreaming. They can be quite stubborn when information relayed to them by authorities, such as parents and teachers, contradicts what they believe. They are sure of their own belief system. INTJs are compelled to establish their own rules, boundaries, standards, and style.


Often at an early age, INTJs make a commitment to furthering their education. The life of the mind is very important to them. Examples abound of INTJs from economically or intellectually impoverished circumstances setting goals for themselves to continue in education, often earning the highest degree possible.


INTJ teenagers may be seen as serious and reserved young people who are labeled as bookworms by others. They set internal standards of achievement for themselves and often do well academically. Being sociable is a standard that they rarely think is worth their time and energy.


As adults, INTJs are focused on attaining their inner goals and standards. They set a particular course based on their theory of what ought to be. They work extremely diligently to accomplish what they feel is important. They enjoy what they do and see it as a challenge. They are not easily dissuaded and may regard others' needs and wants as an impediment to attaining their objectives.


Learning and Working


INTJs learn best when they can design their won approach and when they are able to absorb themselves in an area that interests them. They tend to focus on systems, theories, and constructs relating to universal truths and principles. They prefer challenging teachers, ones who meet their standards. High grade-point averages and test scores tend to characterize INTJs, who like rigorous academic work. Learning needs to be a creative process. Rote memory can be dull and boring for the INTJ.


INTJs are diligent in pursuing new ideas and thoughts, and they exert effort to master a given subject. This makes INTJs particularly adept in most school situations. Because of their resourcefulness, thirst for knowledge, and inner needs, INTJs tend to find ways of acquiring knowledge. They gravitate toward libraries, public lectures, courses, and other learners and teachers - sources that offer them information and direction.


At work, INTJs use their conceptual strengths to analyze situations and then develop models to understand and anticipate through relentlessly to reach their goals. They will continue on with their plans, even in the face of adversity and data that might suggest to other more practical types that their goals are no longer feasible. By nature, INTJs are independent individualists. They see their visions so clearly that they are often surprised when others do not see things the same way. INTJs are strong at critiquing and as a result tend to notice the negatives. To them, a job well done should be reward enough in itself. They may neglect to comment favorably on others' contributions.


INTJs tend to seek occupations that allow them to change the status quo and to design models to express their vision creatively. They desire autonomy and room for growth. They prefer to work in a place in which the future can be planned and where they can work for change in an organized manner.


Some occupations seem to be especially attractive to INTJs: computer systems analyst, electrical engineer, judge, lawyer, photographer, psychologist, research department manager, researcher, scientist, university instructor, and other occupations in which long-range vision is essential.


Loving


For INTJs, love means including someone in their vision of the world. INTJ men tend to be attracted to partners who enjoy living their lives with and outward vitality and zest. Perhaps it is to compensate for their internal, visionary focus that they often find partners who are more outgoing and may even run interference to help the INTJ deal with the day-to-day world. INTJ women, however, may seek someone more like themselves.


INTJs tend to have a model in mind of how their relationship ought to be. This is less a romantic vision than it is and idea that relates to how the relationship functions in a unique or special way. They tend to withhold their deep feelings and affections from the public and sometimes even from the object of their affections. They can be intensely loyal and caring, even though this is not always expressed in words. INTJs can be generous with their gifts if the gift fits their vision of what ought to be appreciated by their partner.


When scorned, INTJs retreat to their own world and may share none of their feelings with others. They may assume that there is a right way for a relationship to end and look for that. They act on the outside as if nothing has happened to them when indeed much has. They may lash out with criticisms of their former loved ones. It may take them a while to recover.


© 2000 Lifexplore

ENTP - Lifexplore

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© 2000 Lifexplore

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